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[25 Sep 2003|03:33pm] |
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only hope - mandy moore |
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im doin pretty good on updating everyday. ima try and keep it up. i dont have much to say today. lastnight i went to church. it was fun. for once. today was a good day. it was a fast day. went by so fast. i had tests in all my classes so that helped cuz we aint do nothing else besides them. i think i did fairly well on them too. my mom told me she is taking me out to supper tonight because she wants to have a 'talk' im likeohh ok sounds super! but i already know what its about. its about what im focused on. and what im not. she gets so mad when i talk about rd. she doesnt want me to be with him. i dont understand that. i mean im not going to be with him ever again but when i talk about him, she always finds something negative to say aabout what i said. it makes me so mad and we end up fighting about it. she told me and my sister the othe rnight that she doesnt want us to hang around people who 'bring our spirits down' and im not. i knwo im not. all my friends are awesome, i love all of them to death. but the one person who brings me down is my mom. she always says something so negatively horrible. it makes me so mad. ohhhhhhh it makes me so mad but oh well. i know what im doing in life. she seems to think that school is so easy and stuff..she doesnt know the half of it. she went to byrd in highschool...she was a goodie goodie. it makes me sick that she thinks she knows what she is talking about. arrrrrrrrrrrrrr enough enough.
nothing else to say. might write again later tonight but then again i might not cuz dont no body wanna read my shit.
bye!
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[24 Sep 2003|01:51pm] |
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your faith in me - jessica simpson |
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me walking + rd walking = nicole and rd hugging
ohh yeh.
today was a great day. went by so fast. test in history copyed vocab in spanish and then health...haha we aint have no teacher so we got to jus leave. phat diggity. yeh. but when i was walking to health, rd was approaching me and he was like nicooooooooole give me a hug. and i said why? and he was like cuz i wantyou to and i said why cant u talk to me anymore and he was like what? i said yeh i try to talk to you and you dun talk much. he was like oh uhm and he aint know what to say. im so in love with him. is harmful. i could so easily get my heart broken. but im gon try not and talk like that.
and todaaaaaaay.......i went to the bathroom in spanish and then the bell rang for A lunch and i was walkin down the hall back behind rd and he aint see me and i saw him lookin in my classroom and he was lookin so hard..and then by the time i got down there, he was outside on the steps so i walked out there and yelled hey he aint hear me but billy did. then when i got back in class kelly was like rd was lookin for you she said he was lookin all around the room. i wish i was in the classroom but oh well the reason i had went to the bathroom is so i could walk past his classroom. but his teacher keeps his door shut, but i know where to look cuz i saw his stuff in the room when i took the roll the the office cuz his teacher gave me his class's and had to take his up too.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh damn i dont ever talk about anything besides RD. i kno all yall get sick of it. i do. well not reall ybut i get sick of just liking him so much for nothing. so you know
i think im goin to church tonight i dont know yet.
oh let me tell you my grades.....
wrld history 2 adv. - 55.7 F
Spanish 1 - 83.4 B?
Health 10 - 98.2 A!
Alg 1 geo. 1b - 65.7 F
English 10 - 42.4 F
Biology - 86.8 B!
those are so horrible. the only one that could be a lot better is english because i have 4 absenses in there cuz i skipped them. my history, i dunno i feel like dropping it but kaschia wants me to stay in there so i supose i am and plus every B day i walk with RD to class so thats a Plus. And math, well i hate math. the end.
i guess thats it. i aint got nothin else to say.
bye
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| ohhh yeh |
[21 Sep 2003|10:09pm] |
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here without you - 3 doors down |
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damn oh shit. im bored.
nothing really to say.
my weekend was ok i guess.
went to the mall saturday and sunday.
saw lots of people there, saturday and sunday.
i know u love the way im double spacing after each sentence.
i dont.
i might stop after this sentence.
but you never know. yeeeeeeeh u know u like that. i really dont have anything interesting to say. i never do but i still find room to talk. so u know. i would break me whole weeek down but that would be pointless..nothing really happened. hurricane isabelle so u know. wes and seth came over for a hella long time thursay during isabelle - she was tearin it up out there. friday the game, already toldu that..it was fun. oh yes. saturday = mall. sunday = mall. someone at american eagle called me a mall rat and then crystal told me to go home because i was always at the mall yeh not funny haaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaa jp. make your knees touch your elbows baby. but i did get a new pair of pants 2 new shirts and a new purse in which is lovely. oh yes. i got my aunt to do my hair tonight too because my mom had to drop her off some shit so you know. then we went to walgreens to see my cousin summer cuz she works there...we saw me uncle there too cuz he was gettin his weddin pictures out and also seeing his daughter - my cousin - summer. so you know...family reunion in walgreens. best place ever YOU KNOW.
i know u guys love this info.
you know u just wish you could live like me. wish u could be so eager to go to school jus like me. tomorrow is a b day. i love b days. i like my spanish class. its awesome. and i see rd a lot on b days. not that he cares if he sees me or not tho. i love him. fo real yo. im in love with him.
ok.
the
end.
bye.
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| oh u know |
[19 Sep 2003|11:17pm] |
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sdfkjhskfgdfg |
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i went to the game tonight.
it was ok i guess.
holla
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| what the fuck ever |
[17 Sep 2003|08:28pm] |
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choose me - david banner |
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i skipped english today
im such a bad kid, my stuff was in the classroom and i walked out into the hall and polfelt asked me if i wanted to skip and i was like yeh hang on...so i went in the classroom and got my stuff and jjust walked back out. i know the teacher bound to of seen me, she too old and senile to know what skippin is tho. and i didnt do it to see rd either. he pisses me off. ok well jessi told me that brooke said rd likes me soo much he thinks im a goddess..if thats so...he would talk to me. he broke up with me because i didnt talk enough and now that i am, he aint. wtf.it pisses me off so bad like this morning i was talking, and he just didnt even say anything really. so im jus like screw it. yesterday in the halls i walked right past hima nd he looked at me and didnt even say anything, i was going to say hey but i had already given up that morning. fuck him. i know i cant help that im still attracted to him but whatever. im stupid i know.
besides RD, the day was good i guess. my math teacher scares the shit outa me, practically begging me to stay after with him so he can like rape me hes scary as shit man.
katelynn spent the night with me lastnight and we aint really do much of anything but homework. the joy of homework. then she came home with me this afternoon and we fell asleep then she had to go home. i slept til 530 then my mom made me go see my grandparents and eat over there cuz she fixed dumplings just for me so i said what the hell. and im jus now getting home. im so worn out and i aint even done nothing to be so worn out. i might be getting sick. my sister is the same way.
and about that hurricane...what the fuck is up with that? is it even going to affect us like they say? schools are already getting out early and late. i heard on the news up to 20 inches of rain. bt i dont thik that was for roanoke. but we supose to get it bad. i hope so i want the power to go out...that would be awesome. no food and no lights. the no food part would be awesome.
this friday is the big flemin and ph game. i cant wait. i guess im going i dont have anything else to do. i was going to ask rd if he was goin to go but he doesnt talk to me so i aint even goin to bother. fuck that mother fucker.
but yeh i dont think i have anythig else to say...
bye
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[14 Sep 2003|10:08pm] |
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motivation proclimation - gc |
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baby why dont u see? that i need u here with me. oh man im so bored. i updated earlier today but LJ was being a homo - so u know. but the update earlier was about this...
skipping = no more
grades = better than ever
effort = extremly focused
attitude = educated
thats basically it. u understand it? im going to try a lot harder in school this year. ive started off horrible. my sister even got mad at me because she doesnt want me to be like her. she wants mom and dad to be really proud of me and iwant that too much its going to take some motivation.
but anyways. this weekend i realized i did the same thing i do every weekend. go out friday night and then saturday night rent movies with kk and watch them at her house and therefore i stay the night there and come home sunday morning. its an everyweekend thing to do. but i think im goin to go to bed.
night!
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| oh baby |
[10 Sep 2003|03:31pm] |
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baby i love you - jlo |
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ohh ohh today i found out that rd thinks im sexy. my life is almost complete. oh yes.
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| ohhhhhh well |
[09 Sep 2003|09:11pm] |
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jerry mcguire |
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whoa, livejournal has new layout. phat.
couple of days has been, rather work free. i have a small addiction to skipping. i now hate going to my classes. the only 2 classes that i havent skipped are wray-history and math-stimson. yeh well i guess thats ok. i have spanish tomorrow..i supose i can deal with it. hope he dont say nothing cuz i have skipped his class 2 times already. oh well i dont care waht they gon do give me iss or saturday school when it starts? whoa. well well im bout to go take a shower and shave my legs because my hair on my legs, are outa control...yeh its crazy. ok well peace
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| i hate my life so bad right now |
[04 Sep 2003|03:27pm] |
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so yesterday - hilary duff |
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im so pissed. i feel like crying. but ive dont enough of that in the past couple of days. this frustration is mainly caused by my emotions. i really like rd as u know i think ive said that..but i used to go out with him and i never really stopped liking him ugh i really really like him i like everything about him. he told katelynn that he still liked me but i doubt it. he said hed go back out with me too but it doesnt seem to look like we will. he was supose to be in my lunch today and we were going to talk but i was walking to lunch and i saw him sittin in his room because he was in the same hall as me and he wasnt going to lunch...and i started to worry and so i thought well maybe the teacher is being an Ahole and well i waited and waited and look and looked in lunch today but never saw him. i was so pissed i almost even started to cry. i swear on my life i am never going to get my hopes up on something ever again. everytime i do nothing happenes like its supose to or nothing happens at all. i hate it so much. but i did see him after school. me and jessi skipped b3 and all i knew was that he had class up behind parsons somewhere in gibbony and so we waited up there before the bell rang to see if i saw him and i did...he was with billy and well i waited with jessi infront of her bus and he just randomly said "YEH LIKE THAT GIRL RIGHT THERE" and pointed to me idk what he was talking about tryin to be funny i guess? he was laughing. and then he said hey to me and got on his bus. errrrr i wish i was just myself when we went out before...i wasnt myself around him because i was afraid if i was myself i would get on his nerves and he woulda broke up with me...well he broke up with me because i didnt talk enough, and believe me i can talk if i wanted to when i want to. but i dont feel like talkinga bout this shit anymore. all my news today was bad news.
bye
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| upset me baby upset me |
[02 Sep 2003|03:31pm] |
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outkast - the way you move |
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today was ok. school what can i say.
it was a B day so therefore i had C lunch and rd was in my lunch. he didnt talk to me. i almost cried. so u know. nah i didnt really almost cry but it did upset me. but chasity's 1st day was today and i am now in 2 of her classes. so thats awesome.
i want pierre to get on. i wanna talk to him. im happy for katelynn. today in lunch we told corey that she liked him and i was like do you like her and he said kinda and i was like awwww thats so cute. lol and then he stood with us for awhile and then right when he left, he was like yeh so if you see katelynn tell her i like her. i wish someone i liked, cough RD cough, liked me like i like him but thats just not possible so u know...i guess ill be going to church tomorrow cuz katelynn said corey was goin adn she wants to go and see him. damnit i want a boyfriend so bad.
i got my hair cut lastnight. im going to get my aunt to french braid it. yeeeeeeh buddy. well im goin to eat my sgetti peace
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| well.....you know |
[01 Sep 2003|06:57pm] |
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maria maria - santana |
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well i redid my layout. i thinkit looks OK. not wonderful. but u know...oh well
nothing much has been goin on. today was the most borningest day ever. i sat here, or on my bed....ALL DAY. i think im about to go get my hair cut tho. i hope..it needs it. but uhm the other night pierre told me that he liked me!! i was so surprised and shocked. because i really like him too. hes so sweet. but uhh my aunts on the phone so ill update later.
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[28 Aug 2003|10:12pm] |
yeh so tonight was a horrible night again. i swear to god if i have antoher night like tonight im going to hurt myselfso bad. i havent had these feelings that make me cry for a very long time and i dont like them. no one likes me because im not confident in myself. no one would like me if i was concieted either, now would they? i really cant help the way i think about myself. i mean i could but i would need help ya know? what i know is that no one wants to hear this shit. but i couldnt give a fuck less. i wish i was confident. really i do. but im not and that gives me more of a reason to hate myself. when im around all of my friends i feel so ugly and not wanted. if you havent noticed most of this has to do with my looks and guys not liking my looks. but im 15, boys are all i think about. what do you expect. i dont know what else to say. katelynn wont talk to me now. she wanted to know what was wrong wth me and i didnt want to tell her because i knew she didnt want to hear it and i was right. i cant win for losing. life sucks im going to bed and pray to never wake up again.
oh and jus 1 last statement in...
for the hurt tonight, thanks goes to p and rd.
so you know.
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[27 Aug 2003|09:50pm] |
i feel really depressed right now. i dont know exactly why but i just do. its kinda like jealousy i guess. i just feel really ugly right now and like no one wants me (boy wise) and i just really want a boyfriend really bad. when i was at church tonight every girl i saw was idk i just got really jealous because oh hell i dont even know. i feel sick to my stomach right now.
we got out at 11 today because of the heat and we get ut at 1130 tomorrow because of it. i dont want to get out early. i want to go to lunch. im still really hooked on RD. i shouldnt be i dont guess...idk i still really like him i just wish i could put my feelings into words so i could describe them to you. well u prolly dont wanna read about them anyways. no one likes me im sure im just a pest and just someone to talk to when no one else is around. im sure thats just what it was. if everyone else was around..i prolly wouldnt have any friends. i hope this is just bullshit that im babling about. because i hope its not true. but its what i feel like. just someone to be around?
i guess i should go...i dont know why but i am.
bye
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[24 Aug 2003|09:29pm] |
well tomorrow school starts again...im so happy because i get to see everyone. but i aint lookin forward to classes. oh well. the whole family just left. my brother, his fiance, my grandparents, my aunt, and my 2 cousins and the awesome EVAN! lol. but anyways...i dont really have anything to say. so ill write later?
love yall
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[16 Aug 2003|06:43pm] |
ok ive been grounded and i still am...im not supose to be on but hey..oh well. im grounded for 2 weeks it will be 1 week monday. and ill have another to go. i got my schedule in the mail tho..court i hope we got classes 2gether
a1 - alg1 - stimson
b1 - wrld history - mr wray
a2 - english 10 - chandler
b2 - spanish 1 - donabo
a3 - biology - moore
b3 - photagraphy - feldman
yeh but oi gotta go if im caught on im dead. litteraly
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[11 Aug 2003|01:30am] |
alright bitch this is how i get down. you are talkin wack shit about me and i dont like it bitch. i mean what the fuck is your problem? me and you are gonna fight! you have it coming! im gonna tear ur hiney up! your gonna be in the hospital for years! their gonna take me to prison for attempted murder! man fuck you bitch...i can talk shit too...you put the 'wack' in 'im wack please hold me' maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan im done with this shit. I love you gurl, call me!
-Katelynn!
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well i dont know who taught u how to get down but they sure as hell need to learn themselves. we get down country style here. all amrican shit. i put the wack in wack? thats bull shit. id rather have u said 'i put the poop in the toilet.' oh and u gonna put me in the hospital for years? i cant afford that. u know how dirt poor i am. shit id rather die bitch. just go through with your attempt of murder. skank. u need to go back to hoanoke and get outa roanoke.
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[11 Aug 2003|01:16am] |
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ramblinization |
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well i dont really have much to say. nothing has happened. im only updating because katelynns stupid as told me to. tonight. lastnight. and tomorrow night. hahah jp.
but uhhhhh my weekend was ok.
friday i stayed home. well i went out with my mom and thats about it.
saturday night i went to the races with katelynn. it was extraordinary!!!!! lol we got home about 130. yeh liek whoa. im so freakin bored. this summer went by so fast. only like what 14 days left til school? i cant wait really..i miss everyone so much!
this week i am supose to be going on vacation. my aunts in richmond, the beach, and then to an amusment park...we dont know where to go yet tho..kingsdominion, carowins, or busch gardens or emerald point. emerald point is a definate no. i want roller coasters. the ones that make you piss your pants! i love em.
you know...im so bored and so tired i dont knwo waht to say.
sldkfjhwkjhygdkjhf gsg yeh i wanna get drunk.
my back itches. ok this is really getting pointless.
bye!
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[06 Aug 2003|06:11pm] |
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jesse mcartney - beautiful soul |
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wel today was ok. i woke up leftover migrane from lastnight. i was supose to wake up at 930 so me n my dad could go get breakfast and he was going to take me driving. but my ass didnt get up til 1130 and so he came and picked me up at 1215 and then we went driving til 2. i havent had anything to eat today. im fuckin starving. the only thing i had yesterday was a salad at western sizzlin. i told myself 'fuck the diet i cant do it' and after i said that...istarted it. im doing what i wanted to. im cutting down on the food and eating healthier when i do eat. im happy. its weird because when im hungry..i feel better about myself. i feel more secure. its really strange. oh well. im about to leave to go to my softball banquet. i cant wait. i get to see jessi and chas and heather and everyone!! thats why i cant wait to get back to school..i wanna see everyone on a daily basis. yeh but uh this song chas told me to DL...jesse mcartney - beautiful soul..its awesome. i love this song. welllllllllllllll i dont know what else to say. i forgot what i was going to write about anyways....oh shit. oh fuck it. ill write when i get back from my banquet. love yall
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[05 Aug 2003|02:21am] |
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walk a little straighter - billy currington |
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well its 230 and im bored as fuck. things were going rreally well for me and P. but the past 2 days its like he cant talk to me? idk. lastnight we talked a lot tho. but tonight we didnt. makes me sad. lastnight we were talking and he would be like every 15 minutes.."im bored, wish u were here." hes so sweet. and i think he knows it. i wanna hang out with him really bad. maybe he'll wanna do something friday? idkhe wants us to get high together. everyone wants me to get high with them. i wanna get high so bad. i need some suppliers. alcohol and weed. i need some hook ups.
i didnt do anything what so ever today. well walmart but thats it. i saw brandon there. i bought the brad paisley CD mud on the tires. its really good. got some new eyeliner too. and a pink thong. im sure u didnt want to know that but oh well. im a true insomniac. i never sleep until its past 4am. when school starts i wont be going to sleep at all unless its in math class.
i wish i could make a real update once in awhile. its always just me rambling on and on. oh fuck who cares. ima go. peace chickens.
love yall
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